"Door"

Life continues to be perfectly capable of turning everything up on its head, and making you realise, once you leave the desolated island you've happily inhabited for all your life, that you're as much a stranger to yourself as you are to those around you.

Such a realisation comes not from your own mind, how could it as you've managed to convince yourself that the way things have been are perfectly ok and that whatever you think is life is nothing more than your own minute version of it, instead it comes from a source that you've long admired and grown to love unconditionally.

I'm referring to "Door", not her real name but she knows who she is, a dearly beloved friend. As she adores cats, she often exhibits their particular traits, a delightful sense of play, a determined resolve, an independent streak, a level of deep affection, and then there are her "human" qualities, compassion, joy of life, acceptance of human weakness (mine amongst others), and a whole host of others. Whilst accepting that no individual is perfect, she's as close as it gets and the term "the imperfection of perfection" sums her up wonderfully.

Anyway, whilst enjoying dinner together last night, I'd cooked as it was a thankyou for her wonderful friendship, the conversation did what it always does when we're together, ranging from the absolute absurd to the very serious; both of us truly enjoy the ability we have for switching from here to there and wandering all over the place yet still manage to finish virtually every topic we've started.

After dinner time to relax came, and as you do certain topics arise that only get discussed when there's a very close bond between you. I'm not going to be specific here, but I'll just say that as a particular subject was being discussed between Door & I she asked me a question concerning "fear". I'd never given such a thing a thought before, mainly because it'd never popped up in the vacuum that constitutes a passing resemblence to what's optimistically referred to as a "brain!"

I really had no answer then, and for most of today as well. But the uncanny thing is that she may be right