Swiss gnomes....and a pussy!

I'm now home, and catching up on the chores that need doing after being away for a month.  The washing seems endless, and the thought of ironing the pile of clothes an even more labourious task to come, but I guess that's the price you have to pay for being away for so long.  The only happy thought is watching Mr. Bean as I do the necessary thankless task.

The flight from Boston Logan airport was an uneventful 7 hours, flying through the night, heading towards the morning rising sun of the European continent, finally landing at Zurich airport, around 10.45am.  Switzerland has a reputation for being full of humourless characters, and I can now confirm this to be true; especially the security guard who gave me a body search in a cubicle.  Unknown to me, and German and American security, where I went through without any real trouble, apart from the smuggling incident when I arrived at Boston, it seems that my shoes had a strip, piece, of metal running through the soles, which in turn caused the metal detector you pass through to throw a wobbly.  It's very easy for me to claim total innocence in such matters, but when a machine casts doubt on your security status, and that causes it to emit a piecing shrill, I'm quite clearly a member of the terrorist organisation, the 'R_Sole Renegades'.

The female security guard clearly took a dislike to my ponytail, no doubt due to her lack of hair, and I had to line up at the cubicle for a closer inspection.  The cubicle curtains were drawn back, and a man in his 60s left the cubicle in a somewhat bedraggled state, which didn't do much for the confidence bit.  Behind him was the uniformed security officer, wearing rubber gloves and carrying what can only be described as either an enormous vibrator or a very large truncheon to beat the crap out of me; either way it wasn't something to be desired.  As it turned out the 'thrill' or 'kill' equipment was a handheld metal detector, which eventually went to places I never knew existed on my body.  I did worry a little when the security guard started rubbing his hands up and down my body, followed by undoing my jeans, followed by the thorough examination with the metal detector; George Bush and Tony Blair have much to answer for, the Swiss gnomes even more!

I was finally cleared of any security doubts, which was nice, although I do feel sorry for the female gender when faced with an hormonally driven man on a mission.  After my experience I wouldn't find a 'bit of rough' in the slightest bit appealing.

The past 2 days have seen jet lag rear its ugly head, and I've been subject to life in 2 different time zones.  Whilst I'm often more inclined to be of muddled head leanings, often forgetting things, this past few days must rank as the highlight of my cerebral incompetence.  On my return to Germany I was met by my delightful friend Dino, who having kindly dropped me off at my place, asked me to feed and water a mutual friend's cat yesterday, which I promptly forgot.  He reminded me this morning, so the poor pussy was a bit miffed and refused to greet me when I opened the door.  I suppose the moral is 'don't forget to feed the pussy', otherwise it too throws a wobbly and hates you more than any Swiss security guard ever could!