The baby chucking its dummy out of the pram!

I'm aware that starting out with 'I've not been well recently' is almost certainly going to get the same response as a gaggle of geese bumping into a maniac pointing two nasty looking shotgun barrels at them.  But what the hell, life's not life without being overly male and wanting a cuddle as I suck my thumb, whilst feeling enormously sorry for myself.
     But of more importance the World Cup has finally died an undignified death and for the first time ever I managed to go an entire WC without seeing a single ball being kicked, which has been enormously satisfying, particularly during the final ten days or so when I was beside myself with rage.  I just found it so utterly, utterly, obscene that the stupid football was being played whilst close to the stadiums children were dying from starvation, poverty and a lack of the most basic healthcare.  I have to say the devil got the better of me and I protested vehemently, posting some youtube videos on my social networking page, the videos weren't intended to please anyone, and if nothing else did kick up a bit of a fuss in one particular quarter, who complained I'd gone too far.
    The weather's been a bit too much lately and the constant heat isn't exactly helping the temper any.  Of course drinking ice cold frappes is helping, bringing with it fond memories of summers spent in Greece where I lived for four years, the bad bits seem to be somewhat hazy and I'm sort of thankful for that.  The strange thing is that the fondest memories are of the 10pm dinners along the sea front, lazily sipping ouzo and eating meze.  I do so miss the joys of eating octopus and kalimari, soaking up the juices with chunks of fresh bread.  But you move on in life, don't you?
    I know this is a bit of a wobbly blog, with me as the baby chucking its dummy out of the pram.  Having written this I now understand why the Australians called the English 'whinging poms'.  But you can't help but love 'em for all that!

The wonderful wisdom of youth!

I know I haven't written anything lately, and writing this I wonder if I'll get to the end to finish it; or if I do, how much time it's taken to write a few paragraphs.  Of course, Mad T has been sort of busy this past week or so, job hunting, but time has largely been involved with the joys of technology.  This is one area I willing confess to being a complete idiot, and my admiration for the mass of young individuals out there knows no bounds in their individual search for technological glory and immortality.

Of course it would be very self-defeating in my own creative quest to completely ignore the undoubted 'wisdom' of young aficionados of the MacWorld, they, after all they clearly love their passion and dedication for their love of Macs and software.  And as I've sat through endless Youtube videos, increasing my own particular knowledge, I can't help but admire their enthusiasm and devil may care attitude.  Yes, I've learnt much and will continue to do so, and the most I've learnt is that their determination to be 'heard' is wonderfully refreshing, no matter the doubts about their teaching style, their occasional impatience and their, sometimes, expectation you're on the same planet as they are.

But the one thing that is wonderfully engaging is their refusal to stick to the norm, to take you through a particular subject sticking to the manual.  Watching them is akin to watching the 'rebel' finding the quickest solution to a problem posed, and totally ignoring the 'wisdom of their elders'.  This is no doubt fuelled by their desire to 'get on with it', having little fear of the consequences, and in the end showing that experience isn't the only crutch we should lean on.

As I'm a 'newbie' to the world of the Mac and its software, my starting point is Apple's tutorials on this or that, but they don't answer every question.  In many ways they are curtailed by their inability to do any more than give the essential basics, which tends to restrict the amount of knowledge they can pass on.  And if you watch an Apple tutorial they stick to the point, slavishly follow the manual and leave you only a little more wiser than when you started.  No, I'm not being critical of Apple, they do what they do well, supported by a vast knowledge base but I can't help wonder if they couldn't do somethings better.

So, as I'm now embarked on a very steep learning curve the one thing I appreciate more than anything is the shortcut to an answer.  Those shortcuts, the very lifeblood of all learning, will get me there much quicker to where I want to be.  And if there is one moral to this blog, it's that we should pay far more attention to the minds and wisdom of the young; it's one thing showing grandma how to suck eggs, it's another showing grandma how to do it with more enthusiasm and passion.

The sun...caterpillars....and the need to read instruction manuals.

I finally managed to escape the padded cell on Monday, released from the conversations of the four walls surrounding me.  I know that sounds as if I'm going slightly mad, but after being cooped up in the hovel for days on end, unable to do some filming due to the sun having gone on strike, or holiday, for about ten long days, then you shouldn't be that surprised by my reaction.

Yes, it's late spring and you can't help wonder if it's just the winter being extended because Mother Nature has decided she has a sense of humour.  A warped sense of humour I might add.  Of course the lack of sun and warm weather might well be the result of global warming, and whilst the proponents might have a point I also tend to think that the strange behaviour of the weather is perfectly normal.  No matter how easy it is to pin the blame on the human race for its disgraceful abuse of the environment and natural resources, the Earth's history has been dominated by extremes of weather change; perhaps this is just another.

But back to the 'great escape'.  One of the things my city is blessed with is a river running through its centre, and plenty of parks through which to casually amble and soak in the fresh air.  And although Starbucks may not be everyone's cup of tea, I spend the occasional time drinking my frappucino by the side of the river.  All of this has nothing whatsoever to do with the great escape, but it's nice being slightly frivolous which clearly indicates that 'Englishmen shouldn't go out into the midday sun.'  Which makes you wonder if there's any connection between the nasty effects of the sun and the British love for fried food.

Anyway back to the story in hand, which seems such a long time ago now.  I wandered down to the park of my choice, the river running along its entire length, frantically searching for a bees nest to film.  You may view this however you wish, but there is a thin line separating madness and inspired creativity, and I always lean toward the latter.  Disappointed not to find nature's constant perplexing question 'In terms of physics how on earth does the bee manage to fly?' I happened upon a row of hawthorn trees close to the path I was walking along, which contained a number of finely woven hammocks, slung between branches, full of minute black eggs and developed caterpillars.  Needless to say I became somewhat excited by the 2cm wriggly things, which undoubtedly proves I might need to get a life after all.  That aside, it was wonderful to watch a moment, and film it, where all the elements of nature came together in one perfect moment.

Watching those delightful nondescript caterpillars going about their natural business, cocooned for a brief period of time before setting off on their own eventful journeys, it's somewhat educational to watch the natural behaviour of wildlife in its true environment and the simple pleasures it provides to the well-being of the human psyche. 

And the filming, well it just goes to show that no matter educated you are, you realise why they teach you to read from a very early age, such is the penalty for being enthusiastically creative.  I finally understand those comments of my school teachers who use to write on my reports 'tried hard but needs to concentrate more.'  As for the sun, I give up!

Politics, bees and the innocence of childhood!

A strange week has passed, with the world passing by in its own peculiar way.  The British general election turned up a result that nobody was in the least bit surprised by, and whilst this particular election was the first since 1997 to stir up some interest in my skeptical attitude towards all things involving British politics, nevertheless the boredom with it all is back.  I thank god that British elections only run for about a month, whilst the American elections for president last around 18 months or so.  As for the hung parliament that resulted from the 'I prefer to sit on the fence, than actually do something radical' British electorate, and consequently no political party ended up with a majority, that could form a government, well the British have ended up with exactly the very things they complained about.  I find it unsurprising that the British character remains stuck in its world of serfdom and servility.

Anyway, enough of the politics and on to more pleasing news!  I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you who have visited this blog, over the past month I've seen an increase of over 300% in visitors, which I find amazing and somewhat humbling.  This in turn has led to more people downloading the free sample of my book, 'Nick & Jenny', along with a small increase in those who've bought a copy.  And on top of that, more people have begun to look at my webpage for 'English Support Services', which has seen visitor traffic increase by 800%.  Of course I can't rest on my laurels, as it were, and so the hard, but pleasurable, work continues apace.  So, again, a very BIG THANK YOU for all your support in making my 'dreams' come true.

Whilst I'm on the subject of my novel, 'Nick & Jenny' I've been asked about the paperback version of the book.  All I can say at the moment is that it will be published in paperback form in the future, but that's sometime off as I've another novel, 'Danny's Navel Adventure' due to be published in June/July time, in addition to other projects I'm working on, which doesn't leave me with the time to do everything I'd like.

One of the big pluses' of this week is that I've finally started working on my film about the trip to the USA during Dec. '09 to Jan. '10.  The downside to it all was my realisation that I'd taken more film and photos than I'd thought, and there's going to be lots left out of the final film, which at this early stage is running at 35 minutes long with a long way to go before it's finished.  The good thing is that the beginning and end of the film is almost done, in terms of film content and titles, but the music tracks have to be added and I'm still arguing with myself about whether I should add a voice over; the worry is that the voice will start to argue with me.

Finally, after spending far too long locked up in the hovel, I decided to escape.  Well it was a very pleasant late afternoon, or appeared to be.  Walking to my intended destination, the local graveyard, where I wanted to contemplate my navel and do some wildlife filming, the cheerful fluffy bits above my head became more threatening.  As I was in my normal mood of cheery glee and endless useless thoughts, I ignored the brewing storm.  Fifteen minutes later I'm sheltering under a tree, but fortunately I discovered a bees nest in the surrounding earth.  Not one to give up a missed opportunity, and the dense foliage of the tree protecting me and my camcorder, I set the camera up on the sturdy tripod.  I was totally engrossed in watching the few bees enter the entrance to the nest, they clearly far more intelligent than I due to them going home and I staying put.  After ten minutes or so the rain eased off enough for people to start wandering through the park, and a young girl, she must have been about seven or so, heavily blessed with the joys of innocent ignorance and driven by unending amounts of childish curiosity, inched her way ever closer to me.  Clearly, a raving lunatic of decaying years, wearing an open necked shirt and wearing a cord jacket, pointing his camcorder at some spot of muck was too much for her.  In her delightfully charming way, she slipped slightly on the damp grass above the nest and to steady herself placed her foot, heavily, on the nest entrance.  All I could do was smile and pack up as no further filming was possible.  The moral of the story is that whilst a bee is a fascinating insect to watch, it's hard to compare with the innocence of childhood and a child's uncanny ability to screw up an adult pleasure with the slip of a foot.

The British General Election Continues....ever more boringly!

The British general election continues in its own dreary way, with Gordon Brown given the accolade of being 'Mr Nasty' because he made a private comment about a pensioner being bigoted.  Yes, this is the level of excitement that has captivated the British media all day, and is tedious beyond belief.  But then what would you expect from a British general election that is suffering a complete lack of charisma and driven by a vox pop mentality and a political party machinery that's modelled its shenanigans on the campaign trail to a level Josef Goebbels would be proud of.

The British media is full of indignation about this or that, most of which are side issues and not really tackling the central issues in any real depth.  If they are then the reports are so swayed towards a political bias that it's hard to now what is fact, in the real sense, or journalist fact which is tantamount to being the same as the putting someone in the village ducking stool, and concluding that the truth was only obvious when someone had died. 

I've lost count of how many words have been used about Gordon Brown being the worst prime minister ever, or how David Cameron is so full of nothing, or how Nick Clegg is Mr 'Nice Guy'; all of which is totally irrelevant in an election that is so important to the future direction of the UK.  I've written comments in the Guardian newspaper supporting Nick Clegg because he is the one opportunity for the country to rid itself of its political corruptness, to rid itself of a voting system that's so outdated and undemocratic it beggars belief it's still there in the 21st century.

In terms of policy, there's virtually no change to either NuLab or NuCon political ideology, both are fascistic, both are way to the right, and both have done their level best over the last 30 years to turn Britain into a police state, and succeeded.  Neither of these two parties is going to do anything to rein in the excesses of the banking and financial sectors.  Neither of them are going to reform the House of Lords.  Neither of them want to stand on a platform and change democratic accountability for the better.  Neither of them is interested in the people of Britain, only interested in retaining power.  Neither of them is willing to say how many people are going to be made jobless because of cuts to public service institutions, and at the same time neither are saying that any of the banking and financial sector will be held criminally accountable for their lack of due diligence and corrupt financial practices.

This general election represents a golden opportunity to be rid of a two party system that has been corrupt for the past three decades, and it's about time the British people showed some real British bulldog balls and got rid of both NuLab and NuCon.  They are two political experiments that have gone so Frankensteinly wrong.

A mixture of a week

Monday is such a boring day, not really helped by a mind that's gone on strike and is now being stubborn, won't negotiate and is heading for another 'winter of discontent'.

Yesterday was a sad day, one of the greatest literary influences of my younger days, Alan Sillitoe, passed away.  It seems that most of the people that I grew up admiring in one way or another, are disappearing and moving on to the after life.  Such events, perfectly natural ones in the great scheme of things, simply bring home the nature of human mortality and time to do all the things you want, growing evermore limited as the days pass by.  It makes you think.

Of course life wouldn't be life without its little episodes, such as my bed collapsing at 2.30am last Thursday.  Needless to say I awoke with a brutal start, on top of the mattress which had imploded into the centre of the bed frame.  Such times are very trying, particularly when you're full of cold and the last thing you need is to be strangled by the continental quilt.  Being English, and having recovered my composure, along with making a very drowsy note never to buy another bed from MOMA, you should never trust MOMA, the best solution to a sudden crisis is go and make a cup of tea.  An hour later I'm back in the land of nod, comfortably lay on the IKEA sofa, happily dreaming of making....the bed.

I've no real desire to keep moaning on about my dose of the flu, but having started repairing the bed on Friday, and managing to finish yesterday, Sunday, progress was drearily slow and tedious due to copious amounts of perspiration cascading from the body beautiful.  I have to begrudgingly agree that causing the bod to sweat was no bad thing at the end of the day.  This morning I awoke feeling much better, at least the coughing has stopped for the moment, which is always preferable in the cold light of day.  Despite this the sleep was a bit haphazard last night, mostly waking every hour to check that the bed hadn't collapsed again, and I hadn't disappeared up my own bottom.  I'm happy to report that my repair job was magnificently done and eventually I had a better night's sleep than I first anticipated.  It was somehow pleasurable to get up at 6am, listening to the birds outside chirping away; I'm pretty sure that they were complaining at the falling rain, which was preventing them from making love to their partners in crime.  It was surprising how much noise male German birds make at 6am, and even more surprising how masculine their chirps sounded.

As you're all well aware by now, unless you're a first time visitor to this blog and then you won't know but welcome anyway, it's always to good to have new fans, my novel 'Nick & Jenny' has been published and even though I say it myself, a damn fine read.  Ok, I know that might sound a tad on the biased side, but what do you expect when I'm head of marketing and publicity, and also the author to boot.  Anyway, the point is that it's come to my attention that people are waiting for the paperback version, before buying.  Now I know that's a nice thought, and I thank those in question for thinking in such a wonderful way, but the news is that there are no immediate plans to publish in paperback form.  Yes, it will happen in the future, but for now it will only remain on sale in e-book form.  I know to some of you this is a bit annoying, and it's not my intention to annoy my small but growing readership, but there's not enough time in the day to do everything I want to. 

At the moment my time is taken up with trying to publicise the e-book, trying to put together an audiobook, setting up a small company and numerous other things; so I simply don't have time to search for a publisher to print the paperback and offer it at a reasonable price.  In addition to this, I'm also aiming to publish my second novel, 'Danny's navel adventure', in June or July time, again in e-book form.  One of the reasons for concentrating on the e-book form is because it's a growing market and growing much faster than the paperbook market, which according to reports is beginning to decline.  As a first time novelist, who's responsible for their own publicity and marketing I need to concentrate on one particular segment of the market.  I will admit that I'm on a very steep learning curve, and I feel like a whale out of water, thrashing around trying to get back on course, but one of the things I can do is ask you to let people know the book is out there.  I'm not asking people to buy the book immediately, although thanks if you do, but download the free sample so you can get a 'taste' of the book.


I know that I've gone on a bit, but sadly that's part of being a salesman, something which is utterly foreign to me; how I suffer for my art!  Having got that out of the way there's more good news.  I've been asked to be a guest blogger and write about a subject close to my heart, you'll find out more by visiting http://completelymentalblog.blogspot
and I would ask you to take a little time out to read it and even subscribe to it.  As blogs go you can also visit my new occasional blog  http://tonibryan.wordpress.com which is going to become more focused on my creative side.  As with both of my blogs please subscribe to them if you're a regular reader, or even a new one!

Finally, congratulations go out to that dear, lovable rogue of an Austrian, sorry German, friend of mine and others, dearly missed but who remains nameless, I didn't want to name you Stefan just in case you became embarrassed but that's between us, don't worry only you and I read my blog so it's not an issue, he's become a permanent US resident and got his 'Green card', brilliant news it has to be said, whichever way you want to view it....just joking matey!

Mr P's Birthday