Men...& a question of multi-tasking.

It's been nearly a week since my last blog, largely due to having little to say about much in particular, which must come as a relief to the ozone layer.  During the past week it seemed like an endless journey of one frustration after another, where no matter how hard I tried to work, work had very little in the way of focus.  That's my own fault I know, but then I'm my own worse enemy at times, the more so when my brain, little and useless as it normally is, decides to go on a creative 'bender'.

The bender has nothing to do with gulping down copious amounts of alcohol, but more to do with the brain's perverse desire to think, and think far too much.  These are dangerous waters; made even worse by bobbing about inside the available cavernous space of my skull.  This grey matter, lurking furtively, perched high upon broad shoulders, suddenly explodes in a torrent of frenzied activity, causing the neurons to short circuit. The ensuing blackout, it might be favourably looked upon, is Mother Nature's way of keeping 'man' in his place; something which no-one could reasonably argue against, unless you happen to be a man.

That glaringly honest remark, remarkably said by a man, who strenuously denies he's in anyway to be considered remarkable, is perhaps no more than an acknowledgment that, generally but still true, men are largely incapable of doing anything remotely useful and worthwhile if they have to multi-task.  A radical feminist once said that 'an individual working on a single task is a man, two tasks a very confused man, and a man working on three or more tasks at the same time, a goddamn genius who's fighting with his inner desire to be a woman.'

Men are notoriously inept when it comes to doing several tasks at the same time.  Think of all those symbols of human greatness: the splitting of a single atom led to the A-Bomb accomplished by a number of men; yet it took only Madame Curie to see through every man with the x-ray at the same time.  Newton's theory of gravity was born out of trying to discover why he kept being hit by apples, thrown by his female relatives who were washing, cleaning, feeding babies and doing the pots at the same time.  It took one man to discover the wheel and his wife to find many uses it could be put to, much to her lasting regret.  The list goes on endlessly.

Of course it might be argued that Mother Nature is very cruel to men, in that she gave him the choice of two brains, for the purposes of multi-tasking.  As an evolutionary experiment it failed, which is why Charles Darwin never mentioned it in 'The Origin of Species', that and the fact he was a man.  One brain sits at the top, which is often confused by the brain lower down below the belly button.  Although to be fair, the upper brain works out the best way to naturally sow the oats, the lower one eventually carrying out the theory in practice.  Even here Mother Nature confused the issue further by ensuring that some oat stalks performed better by leaving the husk off, some did better by putting the husk on, some oats had a trial run but filled out blank reports.

Mother nature then went on to introduce a thing called the 'G-Spot', causing men endless hours of lost sleep after it was mentioned by the 20th Century's greatest female thinker, 'Cosmo Politan'.  Cosmo, some say, is Mother Nature's finest contribution to finally killing off any doubts that men could multi-task.  Since the G-Spot was gloriously revealed to the world, women suddenly found that there was a much better way of making multi-tasking a more pleasurable experience.

I dedicate this particular blog to Susie in California, Steph in Australia, Tanz in the UK, & finally Isa who is somewhere in the world thoroughly enjoying herself at the moment.  Without these particular individuals, the world would be immeasurably more serious than it is, and I thank each of you for making me laugh, and allowing me the privilege of sharing particular moments in your lives.  Each of you have proved time and time again that the male species is only able to function if he's only required to do one thing at a time.